I feel like the luckiest girl in the world right now.
I just climbed into my bed here in England, and chuckled.
Man, I have spent many nights in bed dreaming of one day being abroad, of one day traveling the world, and of one day writing about my travels. Here I am, countless of countries down, and yet here is my website, vacant.
When I was nineteen years old Taylor Swift dropped the music video for her song Begin Again. And as everyone watched and oohed over her lyrics and grace (like I normally do) I couldn’t help but be insanely jealous of her music video shoot in france. HOW BEAUTIFUL?! HOW ROMANTIC?! I would get there one day. I promised myself I would love it... I would write all about it... The summer of 2016 I finally went, and to be completely honest, I hated it. So I pretended like I never went, and if I was asked, I would say, “you know, it isn’t my favorite place.”
After that trip and some heartbreak I kind of gave up on writing. I got off instagram and stopped sharing about my travels. After a while, I stopped traveling altogether.
But even though I've grown and changed so much since then why does it seem like I can’t find the words to say when I finally sit down to write them?
Maybe I've been trying to truly absorb what has happened in my life the last five years... and it's hard to absorb. It’s almost outer body. Maybe I feel like talking about my travels is bragging? Or pretending to love something I didn’t. Maybe I haven’t been completely honest about how I felt in the past? Maybe it’s because I’ve learned to keep what matters the most to me dear to my heart? Regardless of the reasons I've been silent on here about my travels I've come to a place where I don’t want to be anymore.
I don’t want to sit here and write about what you want to hear, I want to write the truth. I want to say what needs to be said. I want you to come to my page because you want to. Because it inspires you. I want this to be a platform that encourages you, and urges you to see the world for yourself. I don't want you to view me as unapproachable, or a life that's unattainable.
I am just a girl who one day dreamed of the things I’m doing now.
And if you’re still reading this, chances are you have those same dreams.
I want to help you achieve them.
Sometimes you need to go back to the same place, changed, a different person, to truly enjoy it.
3 summers after my below par visit to France, I reluctantly went back to experience the Women’s World Cup. I spent the whole summer there, and anyone who knows me knows France is one of my favorite places in the world now. (aside from Scotland of course)
And I live a train ride away from BOTH; I truly am the luckiest girl.
So maybe it’s time for me to come back to this blog, changed, a different person, to truly show you my love for writing and traveling.
Maybe, just maybe, it’s time for me to, Begin Again.
xo, Kaylie