The Middle

Ever feel stuck in the middle of major change? Whether it's work, family, relationships, church? Everyone should be raising their hands. I'm raising both. I've been blessed with the season of everything happening at once. My entire world turned on its head and every aspect of my life that once was stable is now all changing. 

Frustration has been a key word. Frustration at the peace I feel in such a confusing time. Frustration over my community dispersing even though I know the hand of God is working in their lives and circumstances. Frustration in being called into a season of unfamiliarity and confusion YET again.

But lately God has been changing my frustration into expectation.

Expectation that the LORD has never forsaken me or left me and never will. Expectation that the LORD will protect, provide and prepare me. Expectation that His abundance will cover me, that His grace is enough for me. Expectation that this is THE MIDDLE NOT THE END. 

"And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." Philippians 1:6

The good stuff happens in the middle. God's presence is in the process, in the middle, common middle, mundane middle, the miracle is in the middle. 

WE KNOW THE CROSS ISNT THE END, ISNT THE FINAL DESTINATION, IT'S JUST THE MIDDLE.

Luke 23:40 But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? 41 We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.”

42 Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”

43 Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”

The same grace that covered the gap from where I was to where I am is the same grace that will cover the gap from where I am to where I want to be. The gap that makes me grateful and a gap that makes me grow. It's all in the middle. 

I press towards the mark, I will not quit in the middle. And maybe, just maybe it's not about getting me out of the middle, but letting God in. 

Friend's I just want to encourage you. If you find yourself in the middle of any situation in your life currently, take courage, the LORD your God is already in it, already ahead of it, and it's in the middle that His glory gets revealed. 

Stop running from what God saved you out of and start running toward what God saved you for. Turn your frustration into expectation. Turn your fear into faith. Turn your disappointments into praise. Turn your questions into peace that surpasses all understanding. Turn your gaze from your situation to the King who has overcome it all. 

Find the joy in the middle. 

Because the middle is where is all begins.

Cheers to the middle my friends, you are not alone. 

The Good Stuff?

Ever feel like your'e just trying to do good?

A couple weeks ago, I invited some friends over for dinner and I was so excited to serve them and make them food in my new condo and be in their presence; good company. I went to the grocery store with what little money I had and bought the food I knew they could eat. I wrapped my evening plans around their arrival, and to my surprise they had to cancel. 

It turned my mood so upside down I couldn't even enjoy the company of my friend who was in town visiting. All I could think while I was cooking is, why? All I'm trying to do is something good for them? Why would they chose to do something else?

I shared these thoughts with my friend and she said, "There is a lot of things coming to mind right now but the biggest one I hear the Lord saying is, 'I try to do good stuff for you all the time and you chose others all the time.'". 

WOAH.

I just got angry over something I do to the LORD all the time. 

So many times God has sweet plans made for me and invites me in, and I get so preoccupied by whats in front of me I say "Rain Check!"

It's not that my friends bailed on me, because they didn't, I kind of threw the plans on them last minute. It's not that they chose other things that are "more important" than me or what not, they had work they had to get done. I was selfish. I only thought of myself. I twisted my servant heart into an alternative motive to satisfy myself and then I wondered why it not working out shifted my mood so vastly and quickly. 

I wonder how Martha felt when Jesus affirmed that "doing stuff" didn't really matter in comparison to serving Him. 

38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42

It is human nature to get distracted and preoccupied, but don't miss the moments when you can sit at the Lords feet and listen.

Have a great week friends. 

Why did you laugh?

God has such a funny, sweet way of talking to me. Sometimes, I hear him call me homegirl, and sometimes I hear him say my beloved daughter. I wouldn't trade my relationship with the LORD for anything in this world but sometimes I laugh at Him.

2017 has been a year of the LORD speaking very boldly to me. Bold in ways that scare me, because they are so big and beyond me, they test my faith, they ask my heart where my alliance really lies. Faith in the LORD, or fear in my control?

Recently the LORD has been giving me visions. Visions that have come to pass, and visions that are still out there waiting...

I've never had visions before this year and as cool as it is to experience the LORD in that way, I find myself questioning and doubting. I find myself laughing, telling myself I am crazy, and blaming my insane imagination. But deep down I hear a voice saying, "Why are you laughing?"

Apparently God needed to make that voice a lot louder when today Zoey told me a story of a woman who also laughed. 

Genesis 18:10: Then one of them said, “I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son.”

Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him.11 Abraham and Sarah were already very old, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing. 12 So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, “After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I now have this pleasure?”

13 Then the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Will I really have a child, now that I am old?’ 14 Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you at the appointed time next year, and Sarah will have a son.”

15 Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.”

But he said, “Yes, you did laugh.”

"Kaylie, why are you laughing? Is anything too hard for me?" No LORD, nothing is too hard for you. 

Currently my spirit of laughter is unbelief, and fear.  

God is challenging me to turn my spirit of laughter into a spirit of faith. Rejoicing in the LORD whose word is infallible. Pure laughter that is full of faith, and not full of fear. 

Sarah lied and said she didn't laugh out of fear. I sometimes lie that I don't laugh, but I know I laugh in the fear of my control even if the laughter never leaves my mind. But what would it look like to have laughter in faith?

When these visions happen, embrace them, trust them, but give them back to the LORD. When things start to happen and come to pass and I find myself laughing, laugh in the spirit of faith. "Yes, there it is LORD, what you spoke happened, and I'm laughing as a result of my joy, faith, and thanksgiving."

So maybe laughing isn't all that bad, like I said, sometimes the LORD calls me homegirl, and I laugh at His whit. But why I'm laughing is the true question. Is it out of fear, or is it out of faith?

Why are you laughing? 

My Great...

God, You are so incredible. You're so intentional. I can't explain Your wonders. You opened my eyes to the world and the works at Your hand and I'm so happy I'm Yours. I get to serve such an incredible all powerful God. You saw me, Your works aren't done in secret. You chased me down, to the ends of the universe; my great romancer. There has never been one like You, and there will never be one like You. You are the mighty, You are the chosen. You created me in reflection of You; from the dust of the earth You created your word stands firm and forever, and I will exalt You. My great creator. Your word is infallible and Your timing is indescribable. No way I could ever chalk this life up to coincidence. Lord, when I ask for You to reveal yourself, You don't disappoint, You are there; my great deliverer. I am hidden in you Lord, but, You are not hidden to me. What a beautiful surrender, what a beautiful relationship I never knew was possible. A beautiful resting place, shelter, and refuge. Lord, Your words are coming to life and dancing off the page changing mine. I cant take my eyes off You. My heart is tethered to You. You've won my heart, Jesus, You are all that I want. This is only just a glimpse of You, a taste of You; my great everything.